post coitus

If someone receives multiple blood transfusions and becomes hypocalcemic, it’s because there are chelating agents in stored blood products. If an astronaut is in space for 30 days, his muscle and bone mass will start to decrease and he’ll lose calcium to his urine. If a woman comes in with uncontrolled diabetes and hypertension, eats red meat three times a day and is an alcoholic, the best thing you can do is form a “therapeutic alliance.”

If a grandmother insists that you treat her grandson with chamomile tea, do not sit her down and show her your diploma to remind her that “you are a doctor, and she is just a grandmother.” Also, don’t tell a patient with poor lung function that continuing to smoke is “a complicated and roundabout form of suicide.”

These are the lessons that I learned yesterday while taking the USMLE. It was long, the breaks were short, and I felt rushed with every question. It was challenging and fun.

I really don’t like not knowing my score.

The best thing about the whole thing is it being over.

I don’t ever want to take a test like that again.

Thank you, everyone, for the well-wishes.


7 Responses to post coitus

  1. smalley says:

    hey topher…….u will rock the exams……….most of the people have the same feelin like urself wen they come out of the center……..

  2. jarrad says:

    Congrats on being done. Now take a couple months off to come back to sanity.

  3. jana says:

    congrats buddy!!! you’re the best!

  4. Mel says:

    Topher, I’ll bet that you absolutely rocked that exam. (My prediction for ya’: 250+/99). Congrats on finishing, man!

  5. whatnext says:

    Being the old hypertensive woman with diabetes who likes beef and has a monster glass of merlot nearly every night, my main interest here is finding out what a “theraputic alliance” is, since I apparently need one….

    Why there’s no worry about your future, whatever your score turns out to be: After taking a test designed to make a grown man puke, you say things like “It was challenging and fun.”

  6. nosugrefneb says:

    How are you awake right now?

  7. sherin says:

    congrats, toph!

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